Student: I think the last sentence of my conclusion is really dry and plain.

Me: “If I am admitted to the University of Pittsburgh’s undergraduate pre-med program, my dedication will be apparent not only in my pursuit of academic excellence, but also in my desire to uphold the humanitarian principles under which medicine was first practiced, and is still practiced today.” That one? The one I sent earlier and also put on the board for us?

Student: Oh. Ok. I’ll replace the last sentence with that.

If you do not realize that I have rewritten most of your pre-med application essay until I’ve placed the edits in front of you not once, not twice, but three times, it may be time to work on improving your attention to detail. Most doctors are expected to have that in spades, lest their patients die suddenly without their noticing.

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